So, it's that time of year again. Middle-class people sit in the rain and shout "come on Tim!" non-stop for 3 hours. This can mean only one thing: Wimbledon is here. I always cringe when there is a crowd shot and you see the otherwise normal people (not really - we know that they're all freaks with huge pin-badge collections - but it helps add colour to my pointless chat) going truly nuts for a soppy 32-year-old who is, comparatively, not that good at tennis. I thought that, now Andy Murray has risen to prominence, we would be free of "Henmania", but due to the Scot's injury Tiger Tim is our only hope. I feel sorry for the guy: it must be truly difficult to constantly fail to meet the expectations of a baying mob of idiots. His match has just been called off for the night with him on the brink of heroic defeat. For all our sakes, I hope that he is put out of his misery quickly tomorrow.
Some justice in America at last! That idiot judge who was suing a dry-cleaner for $54 million for losing his trousers has lost his case. Selfish, greedy people like that who exploit the edges of the law make a mockery of the beliefs that our societies (be that British, American, or human) are founded upon. The world has become a far worse place with the sense of entitlement that seems to have exploded in the last few years. You can't always have it your way; the customer is not always right; you can't get a table beacause it is Friday night and you have walked into a restaurant at 8pm; and you can't have $54 million because somebody lost your fucking trousers. Get a grip people: stop thinking that the world revolves around you, and take a look at the lives of the 6 billion people worse off than you. Doesn't life look good now?
I've just noticed that I am being grumpy and boring in equal measure tonight, so I'll end on this transcript, which I missed first time round. Racist, sexist, all-round-idiot (writing about the Ipswich prostitute murders, he described as "no great loss" the deaths of "disgusting, drug-addled street whores") Richard Littlejohn gets taken apart by writer Will Self live on the radio. Here's my favorite Littlejohn moment, where Michael Winner calls him a cunt on his chat show: