Saturday, February 09, 2008

Trying to end it all

It's 10:30 in the evening, and I'm loading the dishwasher before heading off to bed. The buzzer goes. Who could it be? I'm not expecting anybody, especially not at this time. Surely Niall can't be wanting me to cook him something?

"It's the police. We need in the building now".

I buzz them in, and open my door. Bounding up the stairs, they ask me where Steven lives. Being new here (and not one for interacting with the neighbours), I can't tell them and they continue up past me. The rest is snippets of noise.

"Do you know Steven?"

"He lives in that flat"

"Steven, Steven. It's the police. Are you in there?"

"Steve, Stevie? Let us in!"

Crunch. They must have forced their way in.

"Shit! Male hanging"

"Have you got a knife?"

(muffled banging noises)

"Stop stuggling mate. Calm down!"

"We need an ambulance NOW"

"Just lie down Stevie, the ambulance is on its way"

It all goes calm for a bit: there are snippets of lowered-voice conversation, the constant beep and fuzzy voices of police radios, and then (after a few minutes) the arrival of an ambulance. After another 10 minutes or so, Steven comes down the stairs on (presumably, as I'm hiding behind my door) a stretcher or wheelchair, sobbing the whole time. He's letting it all out.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

"Don't apologise Stevie, just stay calm"

"We'll take your cat to the animal shelter"

"OK, but he doesn't like girls".

This was my Thursday evening. I wasn't going to post it, but Niall said that it was an interesting story, so I decided to share.

I took a while to get to sleep that night. Why would he do it? What could cause you to get that low? Could I even consider doing that? How is he now? What if he had chosen a more messy method? What was his "last" message, and who was it sent to? And what if the police hadn't been so (presumably) responsive to a panicked call from a friend or relative? Would anybody have realised something was wrong?

Steven lives directly above me. I wouldn't have noticed if he had killed himself on Thursday night.


Blogger Jenny said...


6:40 pm  

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