Swish

AV and SNP

2011-05-04T18:56:00.002+01:00

So it's election time, which calls for a bit more than the 140-character limit that Twitter offers. Tomorrow is polling day, with 2 important decisions to be made: who will form the next Scottish government, and do we want to change the voting system?

I'll take the second, easier, one first. If I hadn't made my mind up very early on, the "no" campaign would certainly have swung me towards voting "yes". The campaign mounted has, I am sad to say, seen the high-profile debut of American "dog whistle" politics founded upon lies and misguided personal attacks. The torrent of bullshit is too much to discuss, but the volume at which they are saying it (and the number of leaflets delivered) have clearly won over a general public open to the type of fear-mongering that they have pedalled. Christ, imagine what a referendum on the EU/Euro would be like? That they are telling lies does not matter; that they are scary seems to have been enough to virtually ensure a "no" vote. This is a huge shame, as the current referendum will surely be the only time in our lifetime that a true change to our voting system is on the table: yes, it's only a step towards the "right" way (full PR), but since when do starving people turn down snacks because they are not full meals? The centre-right faction of Labour (shame on you, Blunkett and Prescott) and the centre-to-extreme right of the Conservatives, BNP et al have mounted a pitiful, swaggering campaign funded by people who don't have our best interests at heart. It saddens me that this is how the movement for electoral change ends for our generation.

It also saddens me that my natural political party, the Liberal Democrats, has enabled the current coalition government, which is having its path steered by a Tory party (and leader) that is MUCH more right-wing and idealogical than the press and public are prepared to admit. I did not vote for this; centrist politics maybe, coalition sure, but not this one. A minority coalition with Labour (that would not have been right nor washed with the general public) or a centre-left opposition against a minority Conservative government are both vastly preferable to this. The Lib Dems have let me down, big-time, and I will be withholding my vote for the foreseeable future. For the first time in my life, I am changing my allegiance, to either Labour or the SNP. On a UK-scale, I feel closer to Labour; this is, however, a Scottish election, which makes things easier. Labour have been poor in Scotland of late, and I have also come to like Alex Salmond (and, believe it or not, Nicola Sturgeon) over recent years. Their style of, and actions in, government have impressed me. The legislation has been crowd-pleasing in all the right areas, centre-left, and the idealogical battles have been well-chosen (i.e. basically right) and have made their victorious opponents look petty and smug when the government has been defeated. I'm willing to trust them now, and will cast my vote for the SNP in the hope that they secure (and increase) a majority to continue their progressive moves.

And then what? Scotland will be left-of-centre, with PR, a world centre of alternative and fossil energy, and good at making alcohol. This appeals to me a lot more than the way that our current UK government is taking us. Keep it up, SNP, and I will be prepared to hear your independence arguments.

The apex of humanity

2010-09-25T16:33:00.002+01:00

I honestly think that there is now nowhere for mankind to go; having viewed this there is no point in any creative arts from now on. This is where it's at. Bear with it: it starts off OK and then gets exponentially better.

Some pictures

2010-09-25T15:58:00.005+01:00

First, a serious one. This is the Deepwater Horizon sinking at the start of the Gulf oil spill. The photo is incredible, and looks like something from a sci-fi film

Next, 2 examples of "perfect timing".

Kylie makes a bear very, very happy.

They should stick this picture in the dictionary instead of defining "panic".

And finally, my favourite picture in years. Look at the range of expressions here and work out if they are supposed to be releasing a turtle or not. Wonderful.

It's time to post again

2010-09-12T20:08:00.001+01:00

So, that's another one of my long blog holidays. I might post again this week. Really.

Last

2010-05-23T17:04:00.003+01:00

So Lost finally finishes in the early hours of tomorrow morning. 97.3% of the world's population will sigh with relief and mutter "thank fuck", hoping that their one sad Lost friend doesn't hear them and start off into a lecture about how it's all really clever, about time travel, and that Locke IS THE SMOKE MONSTER!!!!!!!111!!! The remaining 2.7% are in comas, doo-lally, or are really looking forward to it. Sometimes more than one of them. I'm waiting with baited breath, hoping that it is worth all the effort over recent years; I've not been the greatest fan of this series and was ambivalent (at best) about last week's Jacob episode.

Anyway, to prepare for the end/The End, here are 2 great Lost videos. Firstly, the theme tune that somebody wishes Lost had (and me, too; it's genius and a great parody of US TV), and secondly all 6 series of Lost explained by cats in a minute. Enjoy.

Stag Saturday

2010-05-19T19:34:00.002+01:00

Yes, County lost, but it was a fun weekend nonetheless.

I joined the exodus from north to south in Scotland, on a train that gradually filled up with tangerine-clad people along the way. People from Dundee can be scary, but this lot seemed friendly enough. The general atmosphere of the day was actually very "family" with the County fans made up of seemingly most of the Highlands, be they young, medium, or old. I'm medium, although not medium enough to put a bet on 3-0. Anyway, the atmosphere in Glasgow was fairly relaxed, with the police and security very hands-off; this led to a happy day with plenty of banter (well, as much as you can have with a Dundonian: keep it lowbrow) and mixing of the fans. Any number of County fans, United fans, or locals mentioned how refreshing the lack of an Old Firm presence was.

As an aside, I came to the conclusion that bright orange is not the most sensible choice for a shirt colour: firstly, it is not possible to wear that hue and remain dignified, and secondly if you lose there is not the option of slinking off unnoticed.

The match itself was disappointing. County lacked any real cutting edge and appeared a little overcome by the occasion. This was hardly a surprise and Dundee United were very well organised, stuck to their plan, and in the end won pretty easily. County had a couple of promising 5-minute spells but, to be honest, that was it. The Staggies' fans must take enormous credit though, never expressing too much frustration with the team (who were really trying) and cheering right to the end. The split of fans looked to be about 60:40 in United's favour, but what an effort in terms of people, support, and noise from the Highlands. For most people outside of the Old Firm, seeing your team in the Scottish Cup Final is a once or twice in-a-lifetime event if you are lucky. And I've seen County play in a Hampden final. Magnificent.

A very pleasant weekend was topped off with a couple of wanders around Glasgow city centre (which I grow increasingly fond of) and a delightful bout of dinner and drinks with the Varwells. Summer seemed to finally arrive this weekend, and a couple of whiskies in a warm and sunny Glasgow certainly left me with a warm and sunny feeling.

Some pictures are here, and below is a (pretty rubbish) video that I shot on my phone just prior to kick-off.

Election: some final thoughts

2010-05-03T19:05:00.003+01:00

Decision day is almost upon us, so I suppose that it is time for mine. Contrary to almost all expectations, this has been an interesting and policy-focused election campaign, and is the most "exciting" of my lifetime. The race is close, and we seem to be moving inexorably towards a hung department, mostly due to the TV debates. Yes, I criticised the idea and, yes, I stand by much of the sentiment; if you are going to have debates, though, they should be like the ones that we have had. I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of substance, the relatively intelligent level of discourse, and the low level of emphasis on "presentation". All sides had their moments, of course: David Cameron's "I met a black man!", Gordon Brown's terrible pre-written jokes, and Nick Clegg's "I AM ANGRY ALL THE TIME".

Talking of Clegg, the rise of the Liberal Democrats has been the force invigorating the campaign. Over the years, the mainstream media (be it Tory or Labour) has effectively ignored or downplayed the third party, but with Clegg front and centre in the first debate it was impossible to ignore. The people listened, and the people liked. The traditional no-hopers were being allowed to have equal time to promote their policies, and what's more they were reasonable, populist, and not pie-in-the-sky. Unless you read the Mail or Express, which will have told you that the Liberal Democrats are crazy Stalinists who wish to bulldoze your grandmother's house with a Nazi tank powered by Iranian oil bought with our new currency, the Hitler Euro. And then fry your baby with garlic and serve it on a bed of pomme puree. Pomme puree! Not even good old British mash!

I may be paraphrasing slightly, but that is basically what they said. Anyway, we have come out of the debates with a 3-way battle for power. Due to the LibDem surge, my original prediction of a narrow Labour victory is looking increasingly unlikely; indeed, Labour may actually end up third in terms of the popular vote (but certainly not in terms of seats). The remaining options are a hung Parliament or Conservative victory. The latter is too horrible to comprehend, but enough people seemed to have cottoned on to Cameron to prevent that. When you have got Charlie Brooker and Peter Hitchens rallying against you, it is fair to say that there is scepticism over a broad range of views. Brooker nails it:

He isn't even a man; more a texture-mapped character model. There's a different kind of software at work here, some advanced alien technology projecting a passable simulation of affability; a straight-to-DVD retread of the Blair ascendancy re-enacted by androids. Like an ostensibly realistic human character in a state-of-the-art CGI cartoon, he's almost convincing – assuming you can ignore the shrieking, cavernous lack of anything approaching a soul. Which you can't.

I see the sheen, the electronic calm, those tiny, expressionless eyes . . . I glimpse the outlines of the cloaking device and I instinctively recoil, like a baby tasting mould. Don't get me wrong. I don't see a power-crazed despot either. I almost wish I did. Instead, I see an avatar. A simulated man with a simulated face. A humanoid. A replicant. An Auton. A construct. A Carlton PR man who's arrived to run the country, and currently stands before us, blinking patiently, blank yet alert, quietly awaiting commencement of phase two. At which point, presumably, his real face may finally become visible.

So to the hung Parliament, which now looks most likely. Despite the Tories' attempts to scaremonger the possibilities, I think that the public is more or less reconciled to the idea of coalition or minority government. Maybe living in Scotland, where it has basically worked, helps matters. The hung Parliament may be the sea-change that we need here, delivering vote reform and collaboration to create policy that actually makes a difference. Next Friday (and onwards) could be very interesting... The spectre of a Conservative majority does, howerver, make me very nervous.

So what about my vote? I've narrowed it down to SNP or LibDem, and have now read both manifestos. I liked the gist of both of them, to be honest, and agreed with the majority of what the Parties said. The SNP manifesto had a nice font, made nice populist points, and won points for its positive (rather than slagging off the opposition) outlook. I did, however, feel like a lot of the ideas were nice but the means of achieving them were not adequately explained; that comment also applied to the Liberal Democrats to some degree. The SNP also danced around the elephant in the room a little, saying that they favour independence, outlined their version (which sounded like hyperdevolution to me), but did not go into the mechanics of how it would work. The UK is not just going to give up North Sea oil and a heap of its military bases...

Comparing the two parties there is not much to choose between them in my mind, with a hybrid of the two being the ideal. Seeing as that is not going to happen, I think that in this election I will be voting Liberal Democrat. My seat is close, so a vote from me will contribute to the 1300 needed to swing it from Labour to the Liberal Democrats. I would like to reward them for a good campaign, and hopefully contribute to the hung Parliament in the process.

So there we are, I have come all this way to end up where I started, voting Liberal Democrat. It has been an interesting journey during the campaign, and at the start I honestly thought that I might vote Labour. I don't buy the media narritive on the last 13 years, and have seen many positive things from them. I believe that Britain is a better, fairer, more modern country because of what they have done. And the SNP: now they are seriously on my radar. It is very, very likely that they will get my vote in the next Holyrood election.

Today on twitter

2010-04-29T20:00:00.001+01:00

22:28 I much prefer orange squash to butternut. Quenches the thirst more. #
22:29 Tickets for the Ross County v Dundee United Scottish Cup final sorted. Yes. #

Today on twitter

2010-04-26T20:05:00.001+01:00

08:29 That Labour guy Lord Mandelbrot seems to go into infinite detail about everything. #
14:26 Just flicked through today's Express. Its anti-libdem editorial and general tone of election coverage is horrible. Unacceptably dismissive. #
14:27 A lot of it seems, at best, dishonest as well #
14:29 P14: "they are a bunch of sanctimonious pro-EU left-wingers who would destroy the last remnants of our national identity" #
14:32 Clegg:"a man who despises Britain's heritage, wants to smash our national defences and has an ideological objection to locking up criminals" #

M.I.A. - Born Free

2010-04-26T18:52:00.002+01:00

Oh my goodness. The new M.I.A. video which is very, very, not safe for work. A fascinating and hugely disturbing take on the IDF handling of the Palestinians. What you're seeing isn't pretty but it is very prettily done.

M.I.A, Born Free from ROMAIN-GAVRAS on Vimeo.

Northern nerds do Justin Timberlake medley

2010-04-25T12:21:00.002+01:00

That is it. Nicely Done.

Another policy checker

2010-04-25T11:45:00.006+01:00

Following on from my earlier election post, I was directed to Votematch, which is another site where you can answer policy questions and see who you are closest to politically. Importantly, this one includes all the parties, and allows (even instructs) you to deselect those parties that you are not considering voting for. I therefore tried it out only comparing Labour, Liberal Democrat, and SNP.

The outcome was interesting. As I suspected, the results from Vote For Policies had been influenced by the lack of SNP; the Greens were, in my case, a left-wing substitute (indeed, I even selected the Conservative environmental policy!). My task for the first half of this week is to read the SNP manifesto, which was launched ridiculously late. It's becoming clear to me that my choice will be between Liberal Democrat and SNP. Labour haven't massively impressed me so far, the Conservatives have flat-out unimpressed me, the Liberal Democrats have impressed me, and I must admit that I don't know enough about the SNP yet. When I have informed myself, the question may be: policy or tactics? In my constituency the SNP are a distant third, and the Lib Dems have a decent chance of unseating Labour. If I come out in favour of the SNP, do I vote for the Liberal Democrats anyway?

We'll see. Try out Votematch here or in the little widget below. I don't think that these things should tell you how to vote, but are an excellent "hopping off" point to focus your research in the right direction. Importantly, they help cut through the political dogma that Labour and the Conservatives are the only "real" choices by removing the artifice.

You are reading this because your browser doesn't support Iframes.

Try this link instead.

Dear BBC, don't worry about taking "balance" to extremes

2010-04-25T11:34:00.003+01:00

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them. In this formulation, I do not imply, for instance, that we should always suppress the utterance of intolerant philosophies; as long as we can counter them by rational argument and keep them in check by public opinion, suppression would certainly be most unwise. But we should claim the right to suppress them if necessary even by force; for it may easily turn out that they are not prepared to meet us on the level of rational argument, but begin by denouncing all argument; they may forbid their followers to listen to rational argument, because it is deceptive , and teach them to answer arguments by the use of their fists or pistols. We should therefore claim, in the name of tolerance, the right not to tolerate the intolerant. We should claim that any movement preaching intolerance places itself outside the law, and we should consider incitement to intolerance and persecution as criminal, in the same way as we should consider incitement to murder, or to kidnapping, or to the revival of the slave trade, as criminal".

Karl Popper

Today on twitter

2010-04-21T20:02:00.001+01:00

10:52 Hurrah! Trending topics works again in Echofon. #

Today on twitter

2010-04-19T20:02:00.001+01:00

09:02 Holy shit. It's SNOWING. And not volcanic ash, actual cold water. #

How genetics works

2010-04-19T14:40:00.002+01:00

A picture says a thousand words. Lovely. Via

Trololololololololololo

2010-04-19T14:35:00.000+01:00

Trololololololololololo. This is all.

Today on twitter

2010-04-18T20:02:00.001+01:00

23:24 I have been reading a book for a while now: Möbius Dick. It feels like I'll never get it finished, though. #
12:07 Saw an amazing programme about an ethnically-diverse group of women last night: Disparate Housewives. #

Today on twitter

2010-04-16T20:07:00.001+01:00

13:23 Of all the volcanopocalypses that I can remember, this is the most disappointing. No snowing ash, no zombies, no fun. Just an eggy smell. #

Today on twitter

2010-04-15T20:02:00.001+01:00

07:35 It's the VOLCANOPOCALIPSE!!! #
18:52 Rumours are that the weird eggy smell today was due to the #volcanopocalypse. Seriously. #

Ah hate eyeshland

2010-04-15T18:56:00.000+01:00

Class.

On the debates

2010-04-15T18:18:00.002+01:00

This is the UK, not the USA.
We do not have a President; we do not elect a Prime Minister.
We vote for someone to represent us in Parliament, hopefully on both local and national issues.
If a party has the majority of MPs, they form a government with their leader becoming Prime Minister.
The governing party, and not the leader, is given a mandate by the people.
The governing party can change their leader, and therefore the Prime Minister, if they want.

Elections are supposed to be about policies and how we would like them to affect us.
Elections are not about whether Gordon Brown looks tired or Dave looks like he has had botox.

Today on twitter

2010-04-10T20:01:00.001+01:00

12:18 Ross County v Celtic Scottish Cup SF live on Sky Sports 1 now. Am I still asleep or is this really happening? Come on Staggies! #
13:28 GET IN! Ross County 1 Celtic 0. What a goal. #
14:01 YES! Ross County 2 Celtic 0! 2 minutes left, the cup final is a certainty! #
14:12 The greatest day of all time: when Ross County trended on Twitter twitpic.com/1ek7hd #
14:23 Ha ha. 1/10/2008 Robbie Keane scores in the Champions Leage for Liverpool; 10/4/2010 knocked out of the cup by Ross County. #

This, that, and the election

2010-04-07T20:21:00.008+01:00

Hello. I'm not dead, but I'm not dead interesting hence nothing to really write about. A nice sustained period in Aberdeen has let me rest, relax, see the onset of spring, and be led astray by Mark & Claire. The light is back, it's getting warmer, and the whores are beginning to bloom.

Hang on, I meant to say daffodils there.

Anyway, time for a patented random Swish link-dump:

One of those bizarre, out-there websites that you come across from time-to-time: Michael Buble Being Stalked by a Velociraptor. Tremendous.

The best YouTube video I've seen in a while, Irish Spiderboy. Gravity is suspended for one glorious second here, leading to delightful comedy:

And a news story from today that provides another insight into the crazy world of North Korea: Pyongyang claims Kim Jong-Il has started a global fashion craze.

So, on to the UK's general election, which is now in under 4 weeks. The phoney war is over, and the parties can begin to spout the real platitudes, semi-policies, and meaningful-sounding insubstantial soundbites. I've heard it described as the "between a rock and a hard place" election, and can't say I disagree. We are saddled (by the way our system works) with a probable toss-up between the chaotic government and an apparently wafer-thin (in terms of real substance) opposition. Since day 1 I had David Cameron down as a smug, insubstantial, desperate, condescending impostor. Basically all the bad things that people said about Blair minus the charisma and (initially at least) apparent convictions. The general public seems to have cottoned on to this now, though, and the tactic of focusing it in on Dave may in hindsight turn out to be very costly. He's no Obama, to understate slightly... I'm going to go out on a limb at this point and predict that we will not have a hung parliament, and that Labour will hang on by the skin of their teeth.

This election is a first for me, as I have not made my mind up on who to vote for. I'm a floating voter, but let's be clear that I have no plans on rowing down to the murky right side of the pool inhabited by the Conservatives, UKIP, the BNP and beyond. I'm not sure that the Greens are sufficiently well-rounded to be an option; I work in the oil industry anyway and am not self-hating enough (yet) to vote for my own demise. This therefore leaves me with only 3 realistic options: Labour, Liberal Democrat, and SNP. This is interesting, and I honestly don't know which way I will go yet. Tactically, my constituency is a straight-up battle between Labour and the Lib Dems, with everyone else well behind.

I don't buy into the media image of a failed Labour government that has ruined the country, can see that Brown has some substance, and am prepared to believe that a lot of what they have done is with honest intent and genuine integrity. Iraq is a big, big blot on their copybook, though.

The Liberal Democrats are fascinating, as the party that I have always previously voted for, and the party that seems to be perceived as the one standing for a real change. I would normally have automatically voted for them, but the cold and calculated way that they ousted the successful and popular Charles Kennedy by outing his alcoholism left a bitter taste in my mouth. Add to this the fact that many of my above criticisms of Dave can be equally applied to Nick Clegg, and I have decided to think again. Instinctively, though, I feel that this is the party closest to my heart in terms of Europe, the economy, electoral reform and general mindset.

The last option, SNP, is an interesting one. I always overlooked them purely because of their central tenet of independence. When they formed the government in Scotland I decided to give them a chance and, if they performed, take a proper look at them. And take a look I will. Their performance has not been stellar, but I have been impressed by the way that they have approached minority government, have seen several policies making active differences, and respected the (decidedly non-populist) decision that they took to free the Lockerbie bomber. I honestly don't know where I am with them, though, so am looking forward to reading their website.

The first step on my journey was the excellent Vote for Policies, a site that allows you to compare anonymous (although anyone with half a brain can work out a fair bit of it) policies to determine who you are closest to on topics like crime, the economy, Europe etc. I did all 9 sections, and my results came out as:

Interesting, and it confirmed a lot of my thoughts. The one outlier was the environment, where I came out in favour of the Conservatives, but to be honest none of the choices there really convinced me. The SNP were not included (although I reckon that in the areas that I agreed with the Greens on, the SNP are similarly left-wing), so I can't truly judge things from here, but it is an interesting start to the process. I'll blog more about it later in the election campaign.

Strange question

2010-04-07T11:59:00.001+01:00

But if anyone I know has ordered something off Amazon to be sent to my address, give me a shout. I'm stuck in a loop of delivery hell/mess-ups for a package that I wasn't expecting and don't know what it is...

EDIT: Mystery solved, you can sleep easy at night now. Turns out that I forgot about my order of the spectacular Paul Ross Canvas.

Today on twitter

2010-03-24T20:00:00.001Z

22:34 Ross County beat Hibs! A semi against Celtic awaits. #

Today on twitter

2010-03-19T20:01:00.001Z

10:30 A long weekend. Relaxation ahoy. #

Listen up people

2010-03-19T16:33:00.001Z

There Will Be Blood is on sale at HMV for £3. There is no excuse for not owning this film.

Stalk warp factor

2010-03-19T10:56:00.009Z

I've just noticed that Google street view has been extended to EVERYWHERE in Scotland now. It's a lot of fun to walk down streets near my house, saving myself from actual exercise. I'm now going to waste a load of time looking for people or cars that I know. Not that I know cars, as that would be a terrible indictment on a sad, lonely, and wasted life. Oh.

View Larger Map

Random video dump

2010-03-19T10:34:00.003Z

Ahh, the Friday of a 4-day weekend and Aberdeen is sunny and (finally0 spring-like. All is good with the world; the only thing that could make it better is a few random videos from YouTube. So here they are. The videos are teeny in the blog window but if you click on the picture it will open in a new YouTube window.

Dog eats dinner
Enough said.

M's phone calls
A lovely cut up of Casino Royale that re-imagines M as an irritating thesp pestering the main characters. Nice.

Colin's bear animation
I don't know what to say about this, but it is an instant classic.

Best penalty ever

The horror
I have saved the worst for life, a clip of unspeakable horror. Donny and Marie Osmond do a musical parody of Star Wars. It is very much as bad as you would expect, but somehow compelling. Like watching a car crash between two vehicles made of gold-painted crap driven by creepy Mormon siblings. Exactly like that.

Persian adventures

2010-03-14T14:24:00.004Z

My name is dangerously politically subversive in Iran: "Go Green" is the slogan of the opposition, most famously demonstrated when Iranian international football players were forced to retire after wearing green armbands in support of the opposition. Our local representative jokingly suggested that I become "Mr Red" during my visit (in favour of Ahmadinejad's colour) before quietly asserting that most of Iran is Green anyway.

This fitted in with our outsider perception of Iran: a country riven by a battle for control between conservatives and ultra-conservatives, with the latter violently suppressing the former after stealing an election. Protesters and police battle in the streets and religious authorities restrict freedoms. In reality it was pretty much the only political conversation (apart from one comment about inflation having gone up as a result of Ahmadinejad's election) that I had in a pleasant country populated by some of the most friendly and welcoming people that I have encountered. Having been to Saudi Arabia, I was well-prepared for the Western construct and narrative of Iran to be challenged, and was not disappointed.

So, to Tehran. Arriving very early in the morning (to my first half-hour timezone), I breezed through the controls at the airport and it quickly became clear that the country is not the theocratic police state of reputation, but one of the charmingly-shambolic countries who have come into money that the Western (and particularly oil industry) traveller encounters on a regular basis. Ordered disorder reigned in most areas, best demonstrated by the amusing and enjoyable chaos that is traffic in Tehran: I can best describe it as being in a shoal of metal herring all fighting and squeezing for space in a narrow, overcrowded river. Junctions, roundabouts, and even traffic lights are a case of ignore the rules and just go for it. Have you seen that advert where futuristic (computer-controlled) cars barrel through a crossroads at full speed without crashing? It's like that in Tehran but at lower speed, with more cars, and with humans and horns instead of technology.

Having made it in one piece to my hotel, I enjoyed a few days in Tehran. This is a BIG (more than 12 million people) modern city with all that you would expect from that: traffic, noise, pollution, hustle, bustle, and jostle. Many of those things are in my mind (as a city lover) positives, by the way. When the sun rose on that first morning, I saw the fantastic setting that, to me, defined Tehran. Steep snow-topped mountains bounded the city to the northern side, with the city draped on the lower reaches and sloping down to plains. This instantly elevated the place above other cities in the region: virtually everywhere else that I have been in the Middle East (Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Doha, Dammam/Khobar, Bahrain) has been a featureless cookie-cutter city on a flat plain surrounded by endless expanses of baking sand. These places are sprinkled with an ostentatious array of architecture and tall buildings, as if to make up for their inherent lack of interest or character. A little bit of help from geography can go a long way, and Tehran has benefitted such that the majority of modern architectural dick-swinging can be avoided. A bewildering array of highways criss-cross the slopes and divide the city into neighbourhoods teeming with shops, restaurants, interesting terrain, and parks. True, it isn't necessarily beautiful, and there is not a wealth of sites of tourist interest, but there was more Eastern mystique and romance in Tehran than any of its neighbours to the south.

I have, however, done the country a disservice by talking of the city first. Cliche has Iran as a country of polite, welcoming, and friendly people, which I can only confirm. The people whom I was with went out of their way to make things easy for me, to show me around, and to show me the positive side of Iran. Sure, some of this was bound to be because I am an outsider and was involved in the oil industry, but in meetings the companies showed hospitality (always tea, coffee, fruit, biscuits etc) which I sensed was the norm there. Ethnically, the people were a bit less homogenous than the Arabic states nearby, with clear differences between the features of people that showed they share ancestors with cultures as diverse as Mediterranean, Turkish, Arabic, Central Asian, and South Asian. Often perceived as stroppy isolationists, Iran has surely contributed significantly to that reputation but they have not been helped out by the US-led sanctions which have made development difficult. I was there as a person with technical knowledge, and people were keen to suck up as much information as they could when it was available; "are sanctions a problem for you to do business with us" was a familiar question. Most of the time they were trying to shove more food or beverages down my throat.

Iran is of course an Islamic country (and a fairly hardline one at that) which brought the customs and etiquette associated with the religion. When I arrived my host said "two important rules: do not drink alcohol and do not shake a woman's hand". This was not a surprise, having been to other countries nearby, but there were major contrasts which were refreshing. In Saudi Arabia, I have seen very few women on the streets, and when I did they were clad head to toe in robes such that even their eyes are hidden behind netted fabric; in Iran the women were vibrant, sassy members of society. Yes, they wore veils but in a way that paid only lip service to Islamic customs: striking and often beautiful women would be wearing loose shawls (imagine your gran going to the shops) that hid none of their face and little of their hair. Women can drive, work and go out in public alone; in the company that we work with I would guess that a third of the people there were women. Sure, I bet they get paid less and they had to sit separately from the men, but this was light years ahead of what I have seen in neighbouring countries. The locals assured me that, in the home, there is only one person in charge in an Iranian family and it is not the husband.

The food was excellent, but I have to admit that I am kebabbed-out after just a week in the country. These were the staple food and were vastly superior to the end-of-the-night stuff that we have in the UK: chicken, lamb, or beef simply grilled over charcoal served with vegetables and rice or bread. Portions were huge, and often preceded by a large salad, olives, and a bowl of soup or yoghurt; I have a decent appetite but frankly could not keep up with the locals and they clearly thought that I was starving myself when I was comfortably-full. Highlights included wonderful grilled lamb cutlets and a non-kebab meal of traditional stewed meat and vine-leaf vegetable parcels. In common with the Arabic people, the Iranians do not enjoy spicy food very much, so it was amusing to see the locals suffering through what I thought was pretty mild food when we went to an Indian restaurant.

A couple of other high points included a trip up the mountains and a meeting with a Brazilian footballer. The literal high point of the visit was a trip (via cable car) up the ridge of mountains to the north of Tehran. The city starts at a decent height (around 1000m above sea level) but the ridge of mountains steeply climbs up an additional 3000m to tower over the city. This meant that after around 30 minutes of ascent, I was on the tallest mountain that I have ever been on, surrounded by skiers at 12,000 feet. Tochal is seemingly the fourth-highest ski slope in the world, and it was bizarre to be walking amongst skiers and snow not an hour after leaving the sweaty, dusty heat of the city below. The view should have been magnificent, but the blanket of smog that covered the city most of the time that I was there was in force that day.

One evening in the lobby of my hotel, whilst waiting to go out for dinner, I got chatting with a guy. Through his poor English, we exchanged the usual pleasantries of name, nationality, and occupation: me as a geologist from Scotland and him as a footballer from Brazil. Hang on, what? Further chat revealed that he was Fernando Baiano, a name which rang a bell with me, and was in Iran for (as I understand) the Asian Champions League with his current team from the UAE. A check of Wikipedia later revealed that he was probably familiar to me through a relatively illustrious career and list of clubs including Corinthians, Flamengo, Wolfsburg, and Celta Vigo. He seems to have scored in not far off half of his matches during his career, including almost 30 for Celta Vigo which is where I must have seen him playing European games against British teams. Certainly a more interesting encounter than the usual salesmen or oil guys...

After Tehran came a day in the desert of the south-west in the area bordering Iraq. To be honest, there wasn't much to this region other than a sprawling, ugly, industrial city (Ahvaz) surrounded by a seemingly endless scorching desert. It reminded me of the other Gulf states because it was essentially the same. Sure, the desert was a little greener because of the rivers that enter the nearby Gulf, and it was interesting to be within (unfortunate choice of phrase alert) shooting distance of Iraq and Kuwait, but in all honesty it was a relief to get away from the heat and ugliness for a final day in Tehran.

And so home, laden with pistachio nuts donated by my Iranian hosts. Iran was interesting, confusing, noisy and fun. The people were lovely; you could do worse than consider a trip there to stop in Tehran before moving on to (the amazing-looking) Shiraz and Persepolis. Don't believe everything that you read about Iran.

I have put some photos up on Flickr here.

Today on twitter

2010-03-13T20:02:00.001Z

11:02 Hurrah! F1 is back. #

Today on twitter

2010-03-12T20:03:00.001Z

17:01 Home from Iran after a week of radio silence. I am tired but am loving the unpolluted air here. #

Today on twitter

2010-03-04T20:03:00.001Z

17:46 In heathrow, en route to Tehran. There for most of the next week, apart from one day when I will be less than 10 miles from Basrah. Bye! #

Today on twitter

2010-03-03T20:08:00.001Z

17:46 Justin Green thinks third person day is a terrific idea. #

Olympic update

2010-02-21T21:31:00.002Z

The ski cross did not disappoint. What a sport: pulsating, violent, fast, and laced with crashes. Another one of those made-for-TV events, with (I think) 16 races in just over an hour. Loved it. The women's version is on at 2100 on Tuesday. Watch it.

Olympic wars

2010-02-21T16:11:00.003Z

So I'm back in wintery Aberdeen. I actually arrived home this time last week, but catching up with R&R from the recent travels has taken until now. Being 3/4 of the way through a long weekend is helping.

Anyway, the Winter Olympics have kicked off this month; they are an event that I have never really cared for. They strike me (and many others, I'm sure) as the "special" little brother of the Summer Olympics.

Hang on, should't the Paralympics be the "special" brother? If so, what did I think the Winter ones were? I don't know, maybe the Pepsi Olympics to the Coke Summer Olympics: trying really hard, but in reality only consumed when the other isn't available.

So, the Pepsi Olympics started in Canada last weekend, and immediately received a barrage of criticism: it wasn't wintery enough for skiing, then it was too wintery for skiing, the course designers murdered a Georgian lugeist, the Canadians cheated by allowing only their guys to practice. But, most damningly, the spectre of the "rubbish version" of the Olympics loomed large. I, as usual, fell in line with this dogma. Yes, I'd watch it if there was nothing else but yes, of course, it can't compete with the real thing.

Check out my Coke reference there. That was some clever writing.

So I started watching some of the events, and knock me down if the scales didn't start falling from my eyes. Yes, ice dancing is still rubbish, but pretty much all of the other events are superb. Has the reputation of the Winter Olympics allowed it to, under the rader, rejuvenate and pack the schedule with great spectator and viewer events? So far, we have had:

Alpine skiing: crazy people throw themselves down a steep hill, either at blistering speed or at blistering speed crashing off blue and red flags. They do jumps. They crash, regularly.
Skeleton: crazy people throw themselves head-first down an icy tube of (literally) death at speeds that would get you points on your licence if you were driving down the track. You'd have to be insane to do that, though.
Which brings us to the bobsleigh: crazy people drive down an icy tube of death at even faster speeds. They crash, and sometimes fall out of their little metal carts.
Speed skating: crazy people race around a track, bumping into each other and putting their hands on the floor and inches from their rival's skates. The skates used in the racing are, of course, razor-sharp knives of doom.
Ski jumping: crazy people slide down a hill and fly, using skis as wings and their arms to steer. Did you get that: THEY FLY USING SKIS AS WINGS.
Ice hockey: crazy people take the game of field hockey and turn it into a pulsating spectacle of violence and, well, violence.

And that's not all of them. Biathlon involves the natural combination of skiing and rifle shooting, the moguls involves flying down a hill-o-lumps as fast as possible, and in curling they throw lumps of rock (Ailsite, geology fans) down an ice rink whilst brushing the ice. I have deliberately not mentioned the (surprise, surprise) insane snowboard cross because tonight the ski cross starts and the trailers for it look amazing. Groups of crazies fly down the hill at the same time in a straight race. Involving jumps. They crash. Into each other.

Virtually all of these sports are exciting, quick, and photogenic, which makes them tremendously TV-friendly. Of course, the biggest TV sports event of them all is the Summer Olympics, so what has it got?

100 metres: ok, this one it gets, but only because of Bolt. For a while before him it was unnecessarily-revered
The marthon: again, this gets a lot of attention but it is a pretty great event.
Some of the cycling, like the road race (essentially a stage of the Tour de France) the Keirin (cyclists follow a little motorbike that gets faster and faster until they sprint for the win), and the madison (I don't think anyone knows what happens in this one, but it involves teams of 2 literally throwing each other around the track and huge confusion over who wins).
Modern pentathlon: amazing for the comedy value of people drawing lots to ride on a horse that they have never seen before, with wildly varying results. The horses, essentially, get to cost people medals.
Taekwondo, but only because of that guy who kicked the referee in the head.

And that is pretty much that. Yes there is some interest in other events, like steeplechase, rowing, high diving, and a few of the athletic events. But the games are loaded with duds: swimming (a million variations on the same thing over slightly varying distances), synchronised swimming, gymnastics, equestrian, wrestling, basketball, fencing, judo, sailing, and weightlifting. Take tennis and football as examples: they are poor imitations of the sports that we love.

I'm going to come out and say it: I now prefer the Winter Olympics to the Summer ones. Open your eyes and see the quality of the events, which mainly seems to be due to the insanity and inherent danger of most of them. Maybe they can introduce some peril into the summer games, like jousting, pole vault through a ring of fire, motorbike daredevil acrobatics, or chess. I can't remember anticipating an Olympic event as much as tonight's ski cross, which had better not let me down.

I'm not switching to Pepsi, though. Unless there's no Coke available.

Today on twitter

2010-02-19T20:01:00.001Z

12:39 Lots of snow here! Protip: if I take the day off work, copy me as it means there will be weather problems. #

Bored in the USA

2010-02-11T23:16:00.002Z

Hey hey from Lafayette, Louisiana. I have some time to kill before heading out for some excellent Cajun food, so thought that I would pump out some crap on here.

It's been a hectic couple of weeks. Last week (or was it last year?) saw a whistle-stop tour around the Middle East. First up was Saudi Arabia, followed by Abu Dhabi, Dubai, and Qatar.

Saudi was its usual self: perfectly friendly and welcoming but without anything of genuine interest. I did have a little time free, so took a wander away from my hotel for an hour or so. I think most people wouldn't have bothered doing that due to the reputation of the country; in reality everybody either ignores you or smiles hello. The infidel-hating-crazies image is a construct: it's like judging the USA based upon the hardcore Bible Belt types. Oh.

Abu Dhabi was bland and warm. I got a chance to go right past the fantastic-looking Yas Island complex that was used for the final Formula One race of the season and, yes, it does look like something from a futuristic computer game.

Dubai was only a flying visit so I was unable to re-assess my antipathy for the place. I can, however, say that the Burj Dhubai (or Khalifa) has become a worthy tallest building. We drove right past the bottom of it and, boy, is it tall. I have been under many big buildings, but this one is mind-boggling. 50% taller than the next tallest building! Thankfully, it has supplanted the (in my opinion) ugly Taipei 101 with a structure that is elegant and, well, tall.

And so to Qatar. Doha was actually a pleasant surprise. This was a modern city in the Gulf that still had some semblance of tradition. Old buildings were scattered around the area my hotel was in, the highlight being a 100+ year old Souk (or central market) which had been refurbished into a vibrant centre for food, shopping, tourists and locals alike. It was a fun mix of sights, sounds, and smells. The "new" part of the city was dotted with modern skyscrapers that appeared to be fairly empty. It is as if they have built this huge city in anticipation of loads of businesses, people, and events but none of them have really come yet. I think Qatar will be an interesting one to watch.

Back to Aberdeen, then, for a couple of nights prior to the USA trip. Mark has been helping my foray into malt whisky over the last few months, and last weekend furnished me with some Aberlour A'bunadh which I have now purchased my own bottle of. This might be my favourite whisky so far.

My body clock was all over the place by Sunday morning when I checked in for my 0600 flight to Amsterdam and then on to Houston. A couple of days there for work was followed by a short hop to where I am now: Lafayette, Louisiana. I am here for a conference which has just finished. We have a lovely stand that I was going to man and look all professional; unfortunately US customs had other ideas and I have spent a couple of days sheepishly standing behind an empty white table. I'm glad it's over...

So now off out for some lovely local Cajun food at the famous Blue Dog Cafe, washed down with some regional beer. Tomorrow I will nip to Walmart to fill up my bag with American junk and sweets before making the trip home. When I get back on Saturday morning, I will have taken a total of 13 flights in 14 days with a total of over 40 hours in the air...

Thankfully I then have a little time at home before Iran at the start of March. See you on the other side.

Today on twitter

2010-01-30T20:02:00.000Z

13:26 In Saudi. Went for a wander this afternoon and wasn't murdered once. #

Lost is coming

2010-01-24T15:16:00.002Z

Don't worry, no spoilers, and definitely worth a view for non-Lost people.

Eye eye

2010-01-24T14:44:00.001Z

I like my macro lens.

Sand, sand everywhere

2010-01-24T14:43:00.002Z

The snow has gone, the salt has melted away, but the sand remains.

The streets of Aberdeen make it look like a freak winter sandstorm blew through town.

Celebrity Lullabies

2010-01-23T18:49:00.003Z

Many people take against Ricky Gervais; whilst I am a fan, I can totally see why. Maybe this will placate the doubters a bit? Probably not, but here is Gervais with Elmo on Sesame Street doing "celebrity lullabies". Nice.

Contra

2010-01-23T17:48:00.003Z

I guess that everyone latches on to the pop of their formative years: kids of the 60s grew up with the Beatles, in the 80s with utter rubbish, and I was a teenager in the Britpop years. I started to really like music around the time of Common People by Pulp, so the bands that I loved were their contemporaries: Blur, Super Furry Animals, Radiohead, Manic Street Preachers, Supergrass, Kula Shaker. Thank goodness that, even then, it was clear to me that Oasis was a musical dead-end...

Over the years, my tastes evolved and I realised that dance music wasn't as bad as I thought, moved on to hip hop, and of late have started to fill in some of the gaps and genres from the 60s to the present day. In this period, my love for late-90s indie faded away, with the Manics, Kula Shaker, Pulp, and Supergrass all disappearing from my radar. "Indie" had almost become a pejorative word by the mid 00s, with groups like the Kaiser Chiefs and Kasabian not doing much for the reputation of Britpop. The only bands of that era that I stuck with were Blur, Super Furry Animals, and Radiohead. Whilst they have very different styles and sounds, they share a common philosophy: don't stand still, try something new, change your sound, forget about targeting sales: if it is good they will come. And I kept coming.

But those 3 artists were pretty much as far as it went for me with "indie" music for years. Sure, there would be the odd album or song that came along that I liked (Arctic Monkeys and Elbow to name a couple), but Indie was not where it was at.

Over the last couple of years, though, there seems to have been a bit of a renaissance in creative indie, but this time on the other side of the Atlantic. Animal Collective, Panda Bear, Vampire Weekend, Alvin Band, and Fleet Foxes have all produced tremendous music recently, along with a bunch of other artists of intermittent brilliance (such as Passion Pit). Sure, my mind became less closed to all types of music during that period, but this wave of American bands revived my interest in the much-maligned indie genre.

At the start of last year, I fell in love with Animal Collective's Merryweather Post Pavilion; during the rest of the year I became more ambivalent about much of it. At the same time as 2009's indie masterpiece was falling out of favour, I was wondering why I had not paid more attention to 2008's by Vampire weekend. Sure, Vampire Weekend is a little pretentious, and if you scratch below the surface it is a little thin, but what a surface it is. Just over half an hour of pure fun is sprinkled with simple, hook-filled earworms. Once you have heard this album a few times you will constantly have tunes from it popping up in your head. It is difficult to name favourites, but Oxford Comma, M79, and Walcott are all songs that I come back to time and time again.

So, eventually, to what I was intending on talking about today: the second album by Vampire Weekend, Contra. Should they stick with the formula of the first or disappear up the arse of their own reputation and completely change style? Neither, actually. They have stuck with the short, snappy format (this one is positively epic at approaching 40 minutes) and the catchy hooks, but have grown into themselves a little and improved much of their sound. The production is excellent this time around, being both more subtle and more immediate in places; Ezra Koenig has taken his vocals up a notch (including some excellent falsetto); and they are prepared to be influenced by a wider range of genres. Yes, the modern take on Paul Simon's brand of world music is still here, but so is reggae, ska, electronic, and even dancehall. There is more variation on this album: California English features autotune vocals and is in complete contrast with pretty ballads like Taxi Cab and I Think Ur a Contra (surely one of the best final tracks of any album). Other songs include reggae breakdowns and samples from Radiohead and MIA. Taxi Cab is one of the better songs on the album and a great illustration of the more grown-up sound: lovely vocals and a wonderful piece of production (the strings are perfect) with a simple rhythm.

I had been holding off deciding my opinion until listening to it a few times, which was not too difficult considering the whole thing is half the length of some Orb songs. Is it better than the first album? That's a tough call, as Vampire Weekend was sneaking towards being one of my favourite albums ever. Contra does, however, clearly have more substance, has a pop sensibility (not a bad thing in my mind), and is more considered than Vampire Weekend. All I know is that it is Contra tunes that I am waking up with in my head at the moment.

You can listen to the whole album on the band's website.

Avatar

2010-01-21T19:11:00.005Z

On Tuesday I finally got around to seeing Avatar, which has now taken 1.6 BILLION Dollars and should overtake Titanic in a couple of weeks to become the most successful film of all time. It will do this as a film with little tangible plot, wafer-thin characters, poor dialogue, and not an awful lot actually happening.

All these facts are, however, incidental. The film will keep on taking money for a while yet as it is simply phenomenal to look at. I loved the film, purely for aesthetic reasons: this is a complete flip on my usual feelings on blockbusters where I hate the films that are all style and no substance. Transformers, I'm looking at you: Avatar could have easily fallen into the same trap, but didn't.

The film is basically a stream of astonishing visuals delivered with great style and even greater 3D. Avatar is the first of the new breed of 3D films that truly work: it's difficult to describe unless you have seen it, but the 3D actually draws you into the film so that you feel like you are in the scene. This is not people pointing towards the camera and drops of water flying out of the screen; the technology has allowed Cameron to create tremendous depth of field so that you feel like you are brushing through layers of overgrowth, you are in the cockpit of a battleship, you are looking over a huge drop into a real canyon. The technology was backed up by a hugely imaginative design for the ecosystem of humanoids, animals, and plants on Pandora, and there is a stunning amount of detail in every frame. If you didn't know that it was CGI you could swear that the aliens are humans in blue makeup, which is a testament to how far James Cameron has advanced things with this film. Any plot would have almost taken away from the visual feast, as I spent the majority of the film gawping at the screen with no regard for what was actually happening; we can wait until the sequel for story.

So, yes, the film has drawbacks (and I haven't even touched upon the creakingly-unsubtle anti-war and pro-environment themes), but they don't matter. This film is art. I was speechless when I left the cinema and could not get to sleep for ages that night: Avatar gave me the same buzz that I would get from a quadruple espresso.

The new ZOMBO.COM?

2010-01-17T15:58:00.000Z

RA RA AH AH AH ROMA ROMA MA GAGA OOH LA LA

Incredible.

007

2010-01-17T14:41:00.006Z

Last Christmas I was given the beautiful Quantum of Solace hardback edition, which was the first James Bond that I had actually read. Being British, I have of course seen nearly all the films, which are mostly a blast except for the disastrously-misjudged later Brosnan films.

Having enjoyed the short stories contained within the QoS compilation (actually the anthology books For Your Eyes Only and Octopussy and The Living Daylights in a single volume) I decided to set myself the aim of reading all the Fleming Bond novels during 2009. Over Christmas I finished The Man with the Golden Gun, completing the task.

So what did I think? In a word, excellentandfun. I suppose the films have a reputation for being enjoyable, whilst being formulaic and focused on the gadgets and girls. Today, a lot of the films seem very much a product of their times (for example, Moonraker) and have not aged very well. In contrast, the books seem almost timeless (save for the language used, which I will talk about later) and, for the most part, are focused on tightly-plotted stories and building suspense. The gadgets are sidelined and gimmicks are few and far between; one thing the books and films have in common is the love for the ladies, but you can hardly blame Fleming for that...

Being a child of the 80s I always had a great affection for the Roger Moore era of Bond films: these were wisecracking, leery, gadget-filled romps to space, underwater, and exotic locations. Having read Fleming's version of Bond, I can now see that these films almost completely missed the point; Connery and Craig seem much closer to how things should have been. Another surprise in reading the books was how much good stuff was discarded when making the films: as I mentioned, the quest to be "current" led to the dropping of excellent stories for frequently cringe-inducing gimmicks. Going back to Moonraker there is no relation to the book other than the name of the Villan: what was a really nice spy procedural (with an explosive burst of action at the end) became a campy romp including Jaws (plus romantic interest) and a laser fight in space. Star Wars had just come out, and they were clearly keen to tap into the science fiction market; this is symptomatic of the mistreatment of the books in the service of the "new". This is why the Craig-era films have started out so promisingly. Casino Royale maintained the core (and most of the plot) of the novel with the changes only being those necessary to put it in a modern setting. Quantum of Solace, whilst an original story, again focused on a simple and tight plot and had three-dimensional characters.

That is not to say that the books are masterpieces, and are consistently great, which they are not. Fleming clearly lost interest when writing the last 2 or 3 and dropped into formula. Was he influenced by the films that came out during his lifetime? The first 10 or so novels are hugely enjoyable though, and certainly not a homogenous unit. They are (as expected) for the most part spy thrillers but what sets them apart is Fleming's taut plotting, attention to detail, and overall tension and drive. These were Cold War books, and reflect upon this with the running thread of villanry coming from behind the Iron Curtain in the guise of organisations like the KGB and SMERSH. Whilst the films obsess over the gadgets, Fleming mostly ignores them and instead has a fetish for the details that Bond finds important. What he did was early "branding": specifying brands and types of weapons, clothes, food, cigarettes, drink etc. adds to Bond's character by showing you what kind of a man he is. We know what particular marmalade, jam, and honey he likes, and where he buys them from. In the short story 007 in New York, we even get a recipe for "Scrambled Eggs James Bond". I loved all the little details that Fleming sprinkled throughout the books, which show Bond up as a stubborn, occasionally snobbish, and certainly complex man much more successfully than a car that shoots missiles from its headlights does.

Fleming was certainly not afraid to mix things up. The Spy Who Loved Me turns things on their head by being from the viewpoint of the Bond girl, and is told in first person. Bond does not even show up until after halfway through, which was a genius move to build up expectation and tension. Moonraker spends a bunch of time building up the villan (Drax) through a detailed description of a bridge game designed to expose him as a cheat. Quantum of Solace is a character piece in which Bond is simply the audience to an anecdote, and The Hildebrand Rarity describes a murderous fishing trip with the identity of the killer never resolved.

One criticism which the books (genrally unfairly) receive relates to the language and attitudes contained within. Misogynist, racist, homophobic, and xenophobic are all used to describe Bond. The problem that I have with these arguments is that we are looking back to the 60s through current-day glasses: Fleming was using the language of the time which did include the use of "Negro" and "Negress"; at that point a strong female character was a rare thing; and it was in the Cold War: the general view in the West was that the Reds were evil. Bond reacts against some instances of sexism, racism and homophobia in the books, which is not to say that he was perfect: his dismissive and exploitative attitude towards women helps make him the complex character that he is. The attitudes of the time lead to some unintentional (or were they?) laughs, with The Man with the Golden Gun suggesting that homosexuals can't whistle and dares the reader to try. I don't think Fleming has any great love for Asians, though, and is particularly down on Koreans in Goldfinger.

So, finally, which were my favourites? Overall I enjoyed Live and Let Die the most, with great settings, a genuinely unsettling Voodoo plot (not the watered-down version of the film) and nasty plot twists including Felix getting limbs eaten off him by sharks. Other standouts included Casino Royale, Moonraker, and Goldfinger. The strand running through these is that they bore little (save for Casino Royale) resemblance to the films of those names. I really enjoyed the project, found the books to virtually all be gripping reads, and loved the world that Ian Fleming created. They also made a lot of plane and airport time go by a lot quicker.

2009 in fail

2010-01-17T14:40:00.002Z

Back to the grind

2010-01-17T14:25:00.002Z

So a quiet week on the blog front due to a semi-packed week on the life front. This was the first full working week of the year (always a hard one) and boy was it busy. We had to let a few staff go, so it's all hands to the pump at the moment. At home there was a regal visit from Niall to Aberdeen this week, and in a reverse of history I was looking after my dad. He works every second week down here, flying offshore, and is temporarily homeless in Aberdeen as the lease on the flat they were renting is done. This mean he will use my hospitality 3 or 4 times, which I think is fair payback for 18 years of his and my mum's...

Anyway, the weather is a bit brighter here, with the snow finally gone. It really was incredible here, with not only more snow than I have ever seen in the city, but for a longer period than ever, staying for the best part of 3 weeks. Up north at Christmas there was ecen more, and it got to more than 2 feet of snow by the end. You can get an idea of how much there was by the fact that when it finally slid off the roof of my parent's house it ripped all the gutters off. Oops.

So, back to work tomorrow and to sorting out my first trip of the year. Looks like a couple of weeks to include Saudi, Abu Dhabi, and Iran. I'm really looking forward to Iran, which has had a great write-up from everybody I know who has been. I'll have to make sure to stay away from any demonstrations...

Blue Monday

2010-01-04T15:42:00.002Z

Playing around with my camera last night.

2009 in music

2010-01-04T14:21:00.007Z

2009 was another good year musically, with albums from Animal Collective, Alvin Band, Dicsovery, Dizzee Rascal, Fever Ray, The Field, Jay-Z, Muse, Royksopp, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs all standing out. I also discovered or rediscovered Diplo, Elbow, Minotaur Shock, OMD, Stevie Wonder, and Vampire Weekend.

All being said it was a pretty productive year musically that confirmed to me that my tastes could be described as "Pitchfork-esque". Without further ado, here is a playlist of my songs of the year; they are in no particular order, other than they flow reasonably well if played in order or burned to a CD.

Royksopp: Royksopp Forever
Actually, this one is in order. Royksopp Forever could not be anyting apart from track one. When I first heard it I described it as "audacious", which I stand by; this is an instant all-time classic.

Alvin Band: Temple Pressure
This was an excellent discovery: Alvin Band has made an album composed entirely from noises made with his mouth which channels the Beach Boys and Panda Bear. Lovely stuff.

Discovery: Orange Shirt
This is a side project from the member of Vampire Weekend who produces them and basically does everything you hear which is not drum, guitar, or voice. Whilst in a completely different genre (white-boy R&B) it has the same sense of fun and really shimmers.

Passion Pit: Sleepyhead
Apparently I am the last person in the world of "cool" music who had not heard this and fallen for it. Oh well, better late than never.

Thom Yorke: All For The Best
Jesus, this is good. Really good. Thom can do covers as well as write the good stuff.

Sleigh Bells: Crown On The Ground
Very much a Pitchfork discovery: fuzzy rock guitars and girl band vocals shouldn't work, but really do.

Noisettes: Never Forget You
When I first heard this song it was as if I had known it my entire life, which is a pretty good thing in my mind.

Dizzee Rascal: Bad Behaviour
Dizze went mega-mainstream this year, which meant a veer away from grime and into collaboration with Superstar producers. This track, however, manages to combine Tiesto, a killer bassline, and the ethos of his earlier albums.

Heartsrevolution: Ultraviolence
The version featuring Spank Rock is not on popular video sharing site YouTube, but if you have Spotify you can click here to listen to it. This is the song minus rapping, which is nowhere near as good:

Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Zero
Another song that just sounded "right" the first time that I heard it.

Spank Rock: Put That Pussy On Me (Diplo Tonite Remix)
Diplo is a remix genius, and this one combines one of my favourites (Spank Rock) with that groovy music from the Lynx Advert.

Muse: United States Of Eurasia
Yes, Muse are ridiculous in their pomposity, but at least they know it. I was going to choose one of the more straight-up rock songs off the album, but screw it, here is the over-the-top rock opera that ends with a couple of minutes of Chopin played by the multi-talented frontman. It's OK to laugh at the bit with the Queen-style vocals: I am pretty sure they meant us to.

Animal Collective: My Girls
Wow. Just wow. I see how people can dismiss AC as pretentious; indeed this is the first album of theirs that I have really liked. But My Girls? Wow.

ArjanM: Blackhole
A random internet music/video project, but what a grand combination of sound and vision. Just watch.

Moderat: Rusty Nails
Lovely electronic music. This is all.

Jack Conte: Flavors
Radiohead-esque, which is often a bad thing. Not for this song, though.

Minotaur Shock: Beekeeper
My favourite discovery of this year was the Minotaur Shock album Amateur Dramatics. I suppose that it is technically in the "folktronica" genre but totally pisses all over rivals such as Four Tet. It really struck a cord with me: electronica with plenty of live instrumentation and loads of heart. After a few listens I had a feeling that it was a great album; now I am sure that it is. It is difficult to pick a single track to play as the album flows so well, but here is a lovely song that builds and builds which should give an idea of what the album is all about.

The Field: Everybody's Got To Learn Sometime
Pretty, downtempo electronic music with a killer sample. Bliss.

Train versus tornado

2010-01-03T22:29:00.001Z

Wow. A perfect mixture of suspense and destruction. Real life is better than you, Michael Bay.

2009 in film

2010-01-02T12:08:00.002Z

So, as usual I caught a bunch of films at the cinema this year. Most were at the "old" cinema at the beach; latterly we made the move to the shiny new one in Union Square (amazing sound and vision; not sure about the seats; incredibly inefficient food queuing system; good parking and right in the centre of town). I saw a few less films this year than last, which is probably due to it being more difficult to get Stan motivated than it was to get the departed Gaucis or Stan. The Gaucis are not dead of course: they have just moved to England. Which, to all intents and purposes, makes them dead anyway. I also caught a couple of films (Potter and Up) at the IMAX in London (the UK's biggest screen) which is a tremendous place to watch a BIG film. I wish that I had seen Batman there last year.

Two films stood out like a sore thumb this year: Slumdog Millionaire and Star Trek. The buzz was great for SM, but I was not expecting something quite so magnificent: dazzling, dark, exciting, funny, sad, and (eventually) uplifting. It was painted as a feel-good film, which is pretty far from the truth: as Mark Kermode said "there is a lot of slumdog before you get to the millionaire"; this was the only mainstream feel-good film that I have seen where children are blinded with molten metal by a psychopathic child catcher... The film looked amazing, sounded amazing (thanks to a tremendous mixture of original score and well-chosen pop music), and completely deserved to sweep the Oscars this year. I love Danny Boyle and virtually all of his films (Trainspotting, 28 Days Later, and Sunshine stand out, though) but think this may have been his finest to date.

It was a few months before another film that I actually loved came along, in the shape of Star Trek. JJ Abrams is another great talent, and succeeded in creating a geeky film that had true mass appeal, in the same way that The Dark Knight did the year before. Star Trek had tremendous pace, action, and special effects; combined with lots of humour and an excellent (in fact, spot-on) cast, they hit this one right out of the park.

Neither of them were There Will Be Blood, though; I think I might be saying that for a few years yet. Anyway, the other films that I can remember seeing were:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: this was mega-hyped prior to Oscar season, but was a tremendous let-down. Booooooring, and suffered severely by being left completely in the shade by the supernova brightness of Slumdog.
Frost/Nixon: tremendous little film, and I don't mean that in a bad way. Essentially 2 actors chewing up the screen, and was never going to be a mega-hit blockbuster, but I really liked it.
Gran Torino: my favourite Clint Eastwood film in decades. Nicely-judged racial comedy and a fun performance from the man himself. "Get off my lawn!"
Coraline: Another one of those 3D films that didn't need 3D. OK, in a generic Tim Burton gothic stop-motion film way.
Watchmen: A stinker. Practically everything about it was poorly-judged.
State of Play: Nice political thriller; the UK television original was better.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine: OK, we can stop making X-Men films now. They have been no good since X-Men 2.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: I don't want to talk about this, as its soulless vapidity gets me angry. I will not be seeing any further Transformers films.
Public Enemies: Michael Mann can sure direct a film. Shimmering would be the right word; a nice story that at some times was raised up a notch by Mann, Depp, and Batman.
Pandorum: In with a shout of being the worst film of the year. I honestly cen't remember much about it other than it being a hugely formulaic and boring sci-fi-horror that was way too dark (in lighting, not tone).
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs: Biggest surprise of the year. An absolute riot: bright, funny, bizarre, bizarre (I have to emphasise that one), and actually OK in 3D. This is maybe the film that I lauged at most this year.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: Really excellent. This series has moved away from childrens fantasy (nothing wrong with that, of course) into smartly made and beautifully filmed action/horror films. The tone and style, along with the acting, are a cut above what they could have (and easily got away with) churned out.
District 9: One of those rare films that are one-offs. Lovely idea, lovely concept, lovely execution. Not an all-time classic but (like Cloverfield) this was a tremendous genre film.
Inglorious Basterds: I wasn't too fussed the first time that I saw it, but after the second time I got it. This is right up there with Tarantino's finest and is probably his most violent film. Just treat it as an adult fairy tale, laugh at the right places (Brad Pitt brings the house down with "bongiorno"), and revel in one of the better bad guys in recent film.
Up: Lovely. The closest that a Pixar film has come to breaking into my holy trinity of Toy Story, Toy Story 2, and The Incredibles. Toy Story 3 is out in the summer...
The Informant!: a comedy film with no laughs. Having said that, I enjoyed it but boy was it disposable fluff.
2012: It would not be an exaggeration to say that this was not quite Citizen Kane, and the science was (unbelievably) probably more dubious than The Core. Having said that, it was not unenjoyable, and after a shaky first hour or so turned into a watchable blockbuster.
The Box: a nice try. This was a 60-minute story strung out into 2 hours. The style was there, the tone almost there, but it was still a near-miss.

So, look at that: 2 posts in 2 days. I wonder how long I can keep this up for?

There appears to have been a problem

2010-01-01T16:28:00.002Z

With Blogger: all the erudite, entertaining, and verbose posts that I have written over the past few months appear to have vanished into the ether.

Oh well. Best have another go at it...

A happy new year etc. and here's to a good ZOIO for one and all. I have a cold and am feeling miserable and sorry for myself today, but don't let that spoil your day*

A final fact: since the passing of 2009, there will now be only 9 more years with 2 zeroes in a row in the next 990.

*actually, I would prefer if it did.

Today on twitter

2009-12-16T20:02:00.001Z

21:31 Bought RATM for 29p on Amazon. Really don't like them, but it will be funny if they are Christmas number 1. bit.ly/5DabI2 #

Today on twitter

2009-06-29T20:03:00.001+01:00

23:23 Blur are tearing up Glastonbury. Tender was quite a thing to see. #

Today on twitter

2009-05-24T20:03:00.001+01:00

13:00 I don't care if they say it's boring. The Monaco GP has something special about it, and is always one of the best in terms of spectacle. #F1 #
14:55 Title looking good for Button now. He's taken a lot of stick in the past but has blatant class. #F1 #

Today on twitter

2009-05-16T20:03:00.001+01:00

14:03 Hype + Wolfram Alpha + not much good = disappointment. Much ado about nothing... #wolframalpha #
18:10 Star Trek was outstanding. They nailed it big-time, and I'll be surprised if I see a better film this year. Clever, very clever JJ #startrek #

Today on twitter

2009-05-12T20:04:00.001+01:00

23:42 BOUGHT Tweetie as it's supposed to be so good. Doesn't even show tweets and replies in same view! Back. To Twitterfon for me. Free as well. #
23:44 And the icon is better.. #

Today on twitter

2009-05-10T20:03:00.001+01:00

15:29 A standard F1 race today. Standard, not boring. Button starting to look good for the title. Webber just said "fuck" live on TV. Again. #f1 #

Today on twitter

2009-05-08T20:05:00.001+01:00

13:53 Fascinating statisitcs on national identity which would be fun to discuss with a UKIP or BNP fan: bit.ly/WBGDl #

Today on twitter

2009-05-07T20:06:00.001+01:00

19:10 Yes, I've been quiet. Yes, I have nothing interesting to say. #

Ben Linus reads a nursery rhyme

2009-04-25T21:39:00.001+01:00

This is for the Lost people.

Today on twitter

2009-04-22T20:05:00.001+01:00

19:58 A lovely evening in Stavanger twitpic.com/3s8jx #

Today on twitter

2009-04-20T20:05:00.001+01:00

19:59 In Stavanger, eating £20 pizza and drinking £6 beer. At least the wifi is free... #

Uncomfortable plot summaries

2009-04-19T14:52:00.004+01:00

Wasn't the F1 Grand Prix today good, and han't the start to the season been refreshing? It's great to see the order shaken up a bit and some unexpected names duelling it out at the front. The entitled likes of Ferrari deserve to have their pomposity pricked, even if we all know that it will all sort itself back to normal by the end of the season... Anyway, if like me you are having a quiet afternoon, this mega-list of uncomfortable plot summaries is an excellent way to waste some time. Spot on; some of my favourites are:

BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
BILLY ELLIOT: Union worker turns back on strikers for personal gain.
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY: Deranged pedophile big-business industrialist tortures and mutilates young children.
DONNIE DARKO: Hallucinating teen crushed by airplane engine.
GHOSTBUSTERS: Unemployed college professors destroy hotel with nuclear weapons.
KING KONG: Endangered animal stolen, shot.
ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST: Disruptive mental patients treated.
STAR TREK: Over-sexed officer routinely places crew in danger.
STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE: Religious extremist terrorists destroy government installation, killing thousands.
THE GOLDEN COMPASS: Critique of Catholicism upstaged by polar bear fight.
THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Kidnapper commits murder several times.
TOP GUN: Pilot routinely endangers Air Traffic Controllers.

Oops, I only intended to C+P a couple, but there are so many good ones...

And if you want to waste even more time, how about an exhaustive list of common misconceptions?. This is the kind of stuff that Wikipedia was made for. Napoleon was not short, snapping your knuckles does not cause arthritis, water looks blue because it is blue, Inuit do not have a lot of words for snow, and toilet waste is not dumped from aircraft during flight.

That'll do for today. I am off to Norway tomorrow for a few days of work. I will fly to Bergen first but am spending all 4 nights in lovely Stavanger. It's a compact city, is pretty, hospitable, and very pleasant when the sun shines. Which is about as often as in Aberdeen. I like going there with work because, like everywhere in Scandinavia, it is cripplingly expensive for a non-local to exist there without bankruptcy. They must get paid a fortune. Not sure what the internet access will be like, but they are very modern there so I expect it in my hotel room. This means that you may get the joy of some blather from me. Hurrah!

In Rainbows

2009-04-18T22:08:00.002+01:00

I often mention music that I'm listening to when posting on here, and it is usually first thoughts on some release or another. I have never come back to anything once I've had a chance to mull over it. Well today I was listening to In Rainbows by Radiohead, and decided to break the habit.

I have made no secret of the fact that I think Radiohead are the greatest currently recording band in the world. Almost 15 years ago (!) I was pulled in by The Bends and from then on it was a joy to follow the path of progression laid out by OK Computer, Kid A, and Amnesiac. I loved them for the constantly evolving sound, the integration of new directions, and most importantly the world-class songwriting. Hail To The Thief was the first miss-step, in my mind, as it felt like they were almost treading water for the first time. That's not to say that there weren't a few class moments: come on, it's a Radiohead Album...

After a 4-year break came In Rainbows. Yes, it's the one that you could download from their website and pay whatever you wanted, including nothing. At the time it gathered a tremendous amount of coverage and generated serious debate on the future of the music industry, all of which threatened to overshadow the fact that there was actually an album being released. Looking back through the retrospectoscope, it was in fact a genius piece of marketing that gave them a load of money from downloads, thwarted the torrents, and priceless free advertising for the physical release. Which promptly went to number one in the UK and the US, selling a load of copies. Hooray! The industry is not dead!

Was it worth the wait and hype? Short answer: oh yes. Longer answer: ohhhhhhhh yes. This has become my favourite Radiohead album. Previously I had loved both OK Computer and Kid A, the former for any number of reasons which anyone who has heard it will know, and the latter for its almost shocking integration of "modern" music. In Rainbows eclipses both by taking the mood, aesthetic, feel, and attitude of OK Computer whilst retaining some of the innovations of Kid A and Amnesiac. Thom Yorke's Eraser album mitigated the need for too much of the down-tempo electronic songs; this is a rock band rocking. This is Radiohead, not Thom Yorke, Johnny Greenwood, and a laptop. I love this album, and it has become indispensable, slotting into my group of "best albums ever". If I could only take a handful of albums with me to a desert island, this would be one of the first on the list.

I'm not going to do a track-by-track review, but I will highlight a breathtaking sequence of 4 songs in the middle of the album: Nude, Weird Fishes/Arpeggi, All I Need, and Faust Arp. This is a run of songs at least equal to the current champion of Sloop John B, God Only Knows, and I Know There's An Answer (from Pet Sounds). Nude kicks it off: this is Radiohead at their best, a haunting and beautiful song about extramarital affairs, wailed out by Thom Yorke over a penetrating bass-line. That song would be the highlight of the album, were it not followed by Weird Fishes/Arpeggi. I'll be honest here: I wasn't sure about this one on the first few listens, and didn't get why Niall was saying that this was the heart of the album. Boy, was I wrong, and I have no idea why it took a few listens to click. I have come to the conclusion that this is Radiohead's best song, and therefore by definition one of the greatest songs ever. It's difficult to do it justice by description: dueling guitars, angsty lyrics, amazing percussion and a shift of tone at the end. The build towards the middle of the song is exhilarating, the song is amazing. Just listen:

I know, Radiohead are marmite (like Bjork) but bands such as Coldplay, Keane, Athlete and the like must feel foolish when they hear music as good as that. How can you follow it up on an album? By a complete change of style, to All I Need. Both cold and heartfelt, this sounds like it could have been produced by Boards Of Canada, has arrestingly direct lyrics, and builds to a stunning and chaotic conclusion. Finishing off the quartet of songs is Faust Arp, a lovely 2-minute ballad that they would simply not have put on previous albums. Wonderful stuff.

So, In Rainbows: I like it. A lot. A quick scan of the internet seems to show that most other people did as well. This should be in your music collection.

Today on twitter

2009-04-17T20:03:00.001+01:00

18:01 Bored #

Want to waste 2 hours?

2009-04-15T19:03:00.001+01:00

Then click on this. Make sure your sound is on, and enjoy.

For some sample "tunes", try here.

Dis n dat

2009-04-12T19:32:00.005+01:00

Hey hey, peeps. It's been a quiet weekend for me here, a little boring if truth be told. This does not lead to good blog fodder... It's chocolate bunny weekend, but Aberdeen does not follow the English bank holidays so it is our holiday next weekend. It's been an excellent couple of weekends for my friends, with one baby born, another confirmed to be on the way, and an engagement announced. You know who you are, so proper congratulations to you all.

Easter weekend had 2 much-hyped sci-fi TV events: Doctor Who and Red Dwarf. Who was, as usual, excellent Nice set-up at the end for the final Tennant episodes at the end of the year. Red Dwarf, on the other hand, has disappointed so far. I wasn't expecting very much, to be honest, but it has managed to under-deliver. A comedy without laughs is never a good thing. Actually, that's not quite true: there has been one laugh per episode so far, with the photo enhancement gag very well done. Pretty much everything else didn't work. The plot is weak (stolen from the League of Gentlemen film!), the writing poor, and the actors certainly look their age. The last episode, on tonight, is going to have to be very good indeed to rescue the mess.

The Somalian piracy stories have been big news recently, with a high-profile rescue just tonight. This article from the Independent is a fascinating read, comparing current events to olde piracy and suggesting that there may be a more complex story here, and that the pirates may not be the simple "evil guys" that they are being painted as.

Quick product review: Pepsi Raw. This is a new drink from Pepsi following the heartening recent trend for "real" ingredients in processed food. Sainsbury's have priced it temptingly cheaply, and tempt me they did. This drink is a big step up from the equally "natural" Red Bull Cola, which I was not too big a fan of. Pepsi Raw tastes nice: different but similar to the mainstream brands, with a very pleasant syrupy-liquorice finish. I'll certainly buy more.

Finally, Royksopp have a new album out. On first listen Im pretty impressed. They have moved back towards the sound of the first album, whilst maintaining the shiny production values of the second. I like. Here's the fun video for the lead single:

"Musical" dog

2009-04-09T19:41:00.001+01:00

Today on twitter

2009-04-07T20:06:00.001+01:00

11:21 I think I'm becoming addicted to zombo.com. I find it soothing to have it on in the background whilst I'm on the net. #

Megapost

2009-04-05T19:14:00.003+01:00

Happy Sunday, peeps. Today I'm going to post a heap of links that I have accumulated recently and have started to clog up my bookmarks bar. Old-skool Swish!

First up is ZOMBO. I only came upon it this week, but apparently it's been on the go for over 10 years. Zombo is now one of my favorite sites on the internet. I won't spoil it, just turn your sound on and enjoy. See how long it hypnotises you for, and if you can resist leaving it on in the background for hours.

Shatner sings Rocketman. This guy is a proper genius.

An amazing ultra-high-resolution panorama of London.

Daft Punk soundboard. Copy the Kanye West song and have literally minutes of fun.

Type in a location of your choice and select the weapon (from nukes to asteroids) to see how large the area of devastation is. Conclusion: man-made weapons have nothing on extraterrestrial objects.

Ooookkaaayyy...

This is excellent: Star Wars retold by someone who has never seen it.

Random recipe generator. Very funny, and it's easy to just sit there hitting refresh to get more.

Weird examples of mass hysteria. It's a proper scientific concept and really freaky.

Enough time has gone by so that anyone who wants to see The Happening already has. That was a stinker of a film, which I would describe as the worst I'd ever seen at the cinema if it wasn't for the fact that it was (unintentionally) fucking hilarious. Plus Babel exists. Anyway, this spoiler-filled review is bang-on, funny, and well worth a read. I urge you to see the film if you get a chance: it is the most inept piece of mainstream film-making that I have ever seen.

Finally, one of my heroes, Charlie Brooker, sums up nightclubs exactly right.

The soul of a city?

2009-04-03T18:30:00.001+01:00

In my recent Middle Eastern post, I said that I didn't feel that I had got to the "heart" of Abu Dhabi. I'm fortunate enough to get to do a fair amount of traveling, and one of the main pleasures of visiting a new place is "getting it", of finding the soul of the city. Some places, however, have eluded me in the one or more times that I have visited them. Many of them, like Los Angeles, obviously had an edge but I didn't have enough time to find it; for others there doesn't seem to be anything there. The Middle East has been a hotbed of these types of cities: Dubai and Abu Dhabi, no matter how flashy, just don't have "it"; Khobar and Dammam in Saudi Arabia have a hollow feel to them. But why?

The starting point to answering that is to work out what I mean by "it" or the soul of a city. For some cities, like London, New York, and Paris, you don't really need to explain anything: just being in these places you feel like you are in the centre of the world, that you are surrounded by people, history, culture, and promise. Many cities assert themselves by virtue of historic landmarks or districts, such as Istanbul, Cairo, Berlin, Brussels, Cologne, and Edinburgh. Others assault your senses with crowds of people, sights, sounds, and smells: amongst these are Hong Kong, Kuala Lumpur, San Francisco, and Bangkok. Finally, some bowl you over by virtue of geographic or architectural setting, such as Torshavn, Stavanger, Bergen, and Portland. All of the places that I have liked over the years have fallen into at least one of these categories. Aberdeen, for example, gets its soul from the architecture, the buildings, and the history that they bring with them. In most areas of the city centre the streets are made up of buildings at least 100 years old, with some 500 or more years old. This adds a "weight" to the place, for me. The interesting thing about this subject is that there will be loads of different opinions on what give the city its soul: for Aberdeen you could put up a good argument for it being the students, the night-life, the geographical setting, the oil industry, or others that I can't even think of. No matter what you think, many cities have many aspects which many people think make them great.

But what of those that don't? I'm sure that plenty of places have got their "X factor" but that the people who miss it didn't make the effort or have the capacity to see it. Riga, Singapore, Los Angeles and Caracas are places that I know have some sort of edge to them, but I just couldn't find it. This leaves those cities that I just can't see having a "heart", like the Middle Eastern ones mentioned above, as well as other places such as Houston. The logical conclusion seems to be that they just don't have it.

What they don't have is those things that the others do: people, history, culture. The reason that the Middle East in particular has never grabbed me must be that the cities are just so young. Not much more than a century ago, these places were basically villages or small towns. What was there longer ago has basically been completely removed to make way for the modern settlements. So no architectural history, but the people can make up for that, surely? In places like Dubai and Abu Dhabi, 75% or more of the population are pretty recent immigrants, brought in to construct the rapidly-expanding cities or to service their needs. There is no real cultural history, no shared identity. So that's it, it boils down to history in one way or another, and none of these cities have it. I'd add Houston into that bracket, too: basically a sprawling urban mess in the middle of a desert. The people are great there, but is that because of Texas or Houston?

Some of the cities that I have classified as "soulless" are trying to create that history by building extravagant skyscrapers, sporting arenas, cultural centres, and hotels. The interesting question here is whether the history will "stick". Dubai feels like someone has taken 50 different packets of skyscraper seeds, mixed them in a bucket, then randomly scattered them over a city-sized area. There is no cohesion or uniform local style, nothing distinctive to give the city an identity. Lots of big buildings does not a great city make (see, in my opinion, Singapore). The bigger question is whether history is being created anywhere. Time will be the only judge of that, but I'm sure that things such as the Petronas Towers, Ground Zero, The Gherkin, and the Bullet Train will all be great cultural artefacts of our time. Those "empty" cities are screwing it up by building a splendid house on plasticine foundations.

You can sometimes just tell when a city is going to be good or bad. I'd rather go to, and would have a more interesting time in, Baghdad than go back to Dubai.

Newspaper cover

2009-04-03T09:08:00.010+01:00

I have a lieu day off work today, so I've had time to save the PDF of my picture on the front page sent to me by the Record as a JPG and stick it on Flickr. Here it is below, and you can click on the pic to go to the Flickr page for some more info. The original picture that they used is here. Neat, eh?

Today on twitter

2009-04-01T20:03:00.001+01:00

19:02 Another Bond helicopter crash. Thankfully not my father this time either, but it doesn't look good for those on board. It's a dangerous job. #

Today on twitter

2009-03-31T20:03:00.001+01:00

05:28 At Amsterdam pending a return to the US of K. This location thing is cool: it updates my co-ordinares when I tweet. #
11:45 Home. After the tantrum on the way out, on the final flight I got juice thrown over me by a child... #

Today on twitter

2009-03-30T20:03:00.001+01:00

16:40 Wow! One of my photos was used for the entire front page of the Daily Record PM on friday. That's he free paper for commuters in Ed and Gla. #
16:44 I have a PDF of it so will upload it as a pic when I can. 20,000 odd people forced to look at one of my pics! #

Today on twitter

2009-03-29T20:02:00.001+01:00

13:19 I have the Internet back after a short break. In Saudi Arabia for 1 more day then back to blighty. #

Here and there

2009-03-29T13:35:00.000+01:00

But mostly there.

Internet access has been rare over the last few days. I had Internet in Abu Dhabi but the local company filter seemed to block everything that I wanted to do. What exactly is wrong with insulting Islam and watching Lolita porn?

Anyway, the week started on Dubai. The city seemed ok but did not really grab me. The famous Burj al Arab hotel was nice but not jaw-dropping; I'm not sure how iconic a piece of architecture it will be seen as in the future. The major surprise was the Burj Dubai, the new tallest building in the world. It is sleek and elegant, delicate even, like a shard of glass or wood stuck in the desert. Pictures don't really do it justice, but suffice to say it's a much better tallest building than the fairly ugly Taipei 101. My picture below us terrible (taken from a taxi and I couldn't get the right angle when we were closer) but it's the sliver between the trees. Is it talk though. It absolutely dominates the landscape and is easily higher than anything else in the world.

And so to Abu Dhabi. A taxi journey down from Dubai showed me the desert and Gulf coast. Let's just say it was not particularly dramatic. Abu Dhabi then rears out of nowhere on a Manhatten-esque island. Dense with buildings, none are particularly tall but (in contrast to Dubai) at least there is a feeling of design consistency and planning. I didn't really find the soul of the place (more if that in a future post) but spent a pleasant 4 days there and had a bunch if beers. No alocohol ban on the hotels there... On one day I met one of the Sheiks belonging to the ruling family. Did you know that the average wealth of the Abu Dhabi citizen (not resident, an important distinction) is over $17 million?

And so to Saudi. Lovely Saudi Arabia. To be fair, my hotel this time is excellent, and I only have to stay 3 nights... Tonight is BBQ night at the hotel, and tomorrow I work all day then head back home on the night flight.

Gutted to have missed the GP today, which sounded excellent. Hopefully my Sky+ recorded it for me.

Today on twitter

2009-03-25T20:03:00.001Z

13:57 Internet access as spotty as expected. Dubai a mishmash of skyscrapers but the Burj Dubai is surprisingly elegant and pretty. #
13:58 Abu Dhabi seems nice enough and relaxed. Nice Mexican food and excellent margeritas last night. #

Today on twitter

2009-03-23T20:02:00.001Z

23:15 The Lost season finale is entitled "The Incident". Things are beginning to knit together now, revealing that the show is a work of genius. #
11:52 At heathrow on my way to Dubai. The first flight was ruined by a little girl having an hour-long tantrum. twitpic.com/2dh83 #

On the road again

2009-03-23T12:06:00.001Z

It's been a busy time for work travel recently. I'm currently in Heatheow waiting to board a flight to Dubai. I'll be there tomorrow, then it's off to Abu Dhabi for a few days, then Saudi Arabia. I could theoretically go to Qatar as well but this seems unlikely. I have no idea how good my net access will be.

After this trip it's home for a couple of weeks then probably Norway.

Today on twitter

2009-03-21T20:01:00.001Z

14:18 Mmm, sushi. Now for Gran Torino. #
18:41 Gran Torino was good. Better than Watchmen, which is a bit of a screwy comparison. How about significantly better than Changeling? #

Today on twitter

2009-03-20T20:02:00.001Z

18:39 Hallelujah! The F1 teams stand up to Max n Bernie and get rid of the crazy scoring system: tinyurl.com/ct72cs #

Today on twitter

2009-03-19T20:02:00.001Z

13:31 An exceelent article on F1's farciacal rule changes, which sem to be an attempt to fix "un-broken" rules: tinyurl.com/cq8rxh #

What have I been doing?

2009-03-17T18:35:00.001Z

In short, nothing groundbreaking.

In long, but not too long:

In January I was ill. This doesn't happen very often but I felt crap for a while, but not as crap as French Claire who seemed to have tuberculosis.

From mid-January to mid-February I honestly can't remember what I did, which tells you all you need to know. There were a few good drunken nights with various good folks; Mark and Claire in particular were a bad influence on my binges. Red wine is lovely, isn't it? I did cook some lovely ribs and lamb (seperate meals, although now you're suggesting it that is not a bad idea), rode my dad's awesome new convertible Mercedes SLK, and watch Lost.

Lost is back, baby, and is becoming even more of a mind-fuck than ever. That's not a bad thing, and to sweeten it they are answering loads of good questions. And hasn't Ben cemented his place as one of the great TV characters?

The last 3 weeks have seen a couple of trips away from home. First was London. This was for work meetings and a presentation. The talk was probably my highest-profile to date, for a seminar run by the SPE. To top it off it was at the Geological Society in Pucadilly. For a geologist (or for that matter many scientests) this was a big thing. I was talking from the same stage, in the same lecture theatre, that Darwin had, as well as any other number of household-name scientists. This was the room that plate tectonics was proposed in and agreed upon; where debates raged on evolution and the origin of life; where my science and others were founded. Having said that, I didn't really concentrate on that and gave (if I say so myself) a good talk.

London also allowed me to take in my first-ever English football match, and to catch up with a couple of ex-Aberdonians. Fulham's FA Cup fifth-round replay against Swansea happened to fall on my free evening in London, so I went along. Reasonably-priced at £20, the match was good without being great, and it was a nice stadium with friendly fans. I chatted away to the guy next to me, and he pointed out an old geezer a couple of rows in front who was in his 90s and had missed 7 home games in 75 years. That's commitment... On my other evening I caught up with Gauci and Marsh over a good burger (with habanero sauce and pink in the middle) and a couple of pints. Both were on good form. Some photos of LDN are on my Flickr page.

Finally, 2 weeks ago I spent the week in Houston for work. It basically consisted of me doing talks (I was on good form), drinking beer (Shiner Bock is excellent), and not managing to finish off huge plates of food. I managed to smuggle a new Mac and some form of food poisoning through customs.

So there we are. Back to the present. Upcoming is a trip to the Middle East next week for a couple of weeks. That may or may not be fun. I'll wait and see.

This has certainly made my bus journey fly. I'm only 5 minutes from home now. Curry and poker await.

An actual post

2009-03-17T11:27:00.001Z

Yesterday I met with my good buddies Niall and Simon. This blog came up, and the gentlemen commented on the short and robotic nature of the Twitter posts. I agreed, but commented that I had been enjoying the ease of use of Twitter (from my phone at any time).

Niall then BLEW MY MIND by suggesting that I could write blog posts by email at any time I want as well. He shows occasional flashes of brilliance, that boy. So I commuted to having a go at that to resuscitate this blog, but wished there was a Blogger app available.

Guess what? There is, and I am writing this test post from it. I have shown my commitment to you, dear reader, by investing £1.79 in it. That's right, almost 2 pounds!

I write this from my tea break. Maybe I'll try a catch-up post on the way home tonight.

Don't hold your breath, though...

Today on twitter

2009-03-15T20:01:00.001Z

22:35 This is perhaps the best sporting prowess video I've seen: tinyurl.com/dkq47u It doesn't matter if you don't get NFL #
10:17 How did they know I had soiled myself? twitpic.com/24b9l #

Today on twitter

2009-03-13T20:02:00.001Z

16:32 Paranoid Android, Nintendo stylee: tinyurl.com/coppcx It's got dog barks and everything #

Today on twitter

2009-03-12T20:02:00.001Z

19:49 Elmo and Gervais. Brilliant: tinyurl.com/conbcx #

Today on twitter

2009-03-10T20:03:00.001Z

13:57 An important read on foie gras: tinyurl.com/ctufvd #

Today on twitter

2009-03-09T20:02:00.001Z

13:25 Saw Watchmen. Good but not great. Stylish yet teenage/juvenile in content. Too long and occasionally boring. Good but intrusive musiic. 6/10 #

Today on twitter

2009-03-08T20:02:00.001Z

14:32 Well the migration was successful. Bravo Apple: all apps, data etc. transferred seamlessly. Slick. #
16:40 Just watched last weeks's Lost (the Locke one). Wow, was that one of the better episodes or what? Can't wait for tonight's one. #
17:28 The Onion is becoming obsolete. This would be comedic if it wasn't blatant and bizarre corporate bullying tinyurl.com/dbl9eu #
19:05 Nature's Great Events tonight was incredible: sardines vs sharks, dolphins, and gannets. Awesome footage: tinyurl.com/bsol26 #

Today on twitter

2009-03-06T20:03:00.001Z

07:24 Amsterdam. Tired. Thank goodness for the KLM lounge. #

Today on twitter

2009-03-05T20:02:00.001Z

00:36 With exquisite timing I got my bonus this month and Apple refreshed their line while I am staying 1 mile from an Apple store... #
00:37 Result = one new Mac Mini at essentially 10-15% off, even with the crappy exchange rate. Now I have to see if I can sneak it past customs... #

Today on twitter

2009-03-04T20:02:00.001Z

02:33 American portions are ridiculous. This is fried crawfish and fries. twitpic.com/1tys5 #

Today on twitter

2009-03-03T20:02:00.001Z

20:55 Just back from downtown Houston and a meeting with Chevron. A nice sunny day here. twitpic.com/1t0bj #

Today on twitter

2009-03-02T20:03:00.001Z

21:25 In-flight photo of pack-ice south of Greenland. Cool stuff. twitpic.com/1s7yq #
21:26 In Houston safe and well. It's actually not too much hotter than home. Going to have a nap and then it's cajun food for dinner. #